If the Shoe Fits, Buy It! Christian Louboutin glittered platform pump

Happy Halloween!!

I have dressed like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz about six different times through the years, and I think that I have come across the reason to go for lucky number seven!

These Christian Louboutin glittered platform pumps are a Dorothy dream come true. The extra height from the platform, the glorious peeptoe, and the all-over glitz and glitter would transport a girl to the Emerald City as soon as she slipped them on. These pumps are also available in marine, a rich blueberry shade.

Feed Me Now! Uncrustables

I can't believe I eat these. How lazy is it, really, to require a pre-made PB&J sandwich?!

However, I do eat them and I like it, despite the shame I feel. Uncrustables were a staple of my diet this summer when I was studying for the bar. I could take one out of the freezer in the morning, throw it in my lunch bag, and when BarBri was over it would be deliciously chilled and ready to eat.

No, they are not gourmet or organic or gluten-free or locally-grown or harvested under the quarter moon by a hairless goat, but Uncrustables still work for me.  I don't do grape jelly, and I certainly don't do fake cheese.  However, I do admit that the Uncrustables with strawberry jam and the peanut butter and honey on wheat bread are tasty little things.

Throwback - Skip-It

Skip it, skip it!

(Trip on it, twist your ankle!)

WTF? Not quite a whale's vagina...

As Ron Burgundy so eloquently informed us, "San Diego" is German for "a whale's vagina." I find that the usefulness of this information knows no bounds.

I have taken upon myself, therefore, to inform you that "Dartz Prombron" is German for "a whale's penis."

The diamond edition of the Dartz Prombron luxury armored SUV features gold-plated windows, tungsten exhaust pipes, and whale penis leather interiors. Yes, I did just say whale penis leather. Just imagine - on your way home after a long day at work, you could sink back in your seat and relax in the soothing comfort of a gigantic mammal member (...or is it whale wood?) This literally gives new meaning to Wienermobile, doesn't it now?

Stay classy.

Take Your Pick! Trout pouts

Lara Flynn Boyle

Trouty McFisherson

Brittany Murphy

Lisa Rinna

Meg Ryan

Blame it on the T-T-T-T-T-Tylenol

I was sick all weekend, and therefore I credit this post to the variety of over-the-counter cold medicines I consumed... although, to be honest, this is generally what the pictures inside my head look like, medicated or not.

Binocular soccer.



Pickle Surprise!

B-boy flips baby.


Beauty. Strength.


It might be time for AA...

Retail Therapy - Pier 1 Zebra Throw

Although some days it is still nearly 80 degrees here, I like to delude myself into thinking that I can feel autumn in the air.

My absolute favorite new addition to my fall home collection is this shockingly soft faux fur zebra throw from Pier 1.  It is rich chocolate brown on one side, and neutral zebra-print on the other... so it can either be used as a dark neutral, or can perfectly match my neutral zebra throw pillows.  But, ever more importantly, it is SO COMFORTABLE that I want to marry it. And then make clothes out of it. (How very Silence of the Lambs of me... it rubs the lotion on its skin.)

If I show up to work in a faux fur zebra caftan with chocolate brown lining, just don't ask.