Saturday, July 11, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
I will be the Ryan Seacrest of bacon, counting down my top 40 favorite bacony treats and products. Here is the first of four installments in my Bacon Top 40 Countdown:
THE FAUX PAW BLOG
BACON HAIKU 2:
40. Bacon watch: What time is it? It's BACON TIME!
39. Squeeze bacon: Directions: Squeeze directly into your mouth. Optional: Follow up with a squeeze of Reddi-Whip for dessert.
38. What Would Bacon Do? Not a day goes by that I don't ask myself this question.
37. Gummy bacon: Gummy bears, gummy worms, gummy sharks... it was only a matter of time.
36. Bacon wallet: Great for bringing home the bacon.
35. Bacon-flavored toothpicks: Does your mouth have that too-fresh minty feeling? Well, chew on this! Reclaim your meaty breath with a bacon-flavored toothpick, available in a handy travel tin.
34. Chocolate covered bacon: Is there a culinary Nobel Prize?
33. Maple-bacon lollipop: Sweet + savory + stick = portable pork pleasure.
32. Bacon floss: 4 out of 5 dentists agree, this stuff is awesome.
31. Bacon cone: Who wants a bacon cone? THIS GIRL. I am fiercely jealous that I did not invent this myself... a cone of bacon, filled with cheesy eggs, and topped with country gravy and a biscuit? Um, yes please. This one just might make me hop off the veggie wagon.
*If for some reason you like my bacon haiku or other postings, please refer back to my blog.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The "models" on the commercial always wore the best acid-washed, pleated, zippered-ankle jeans, and had curly, crimpy hair. I was dying to go to Barbizon Modeling School to learn how to properly swing a shopping bag as I spun myself around in a carefree circle at the mall.
Unfortunately, I was relegated to hobbies that involved reading books and learning stuff. Moms are such a buzzkill sometimes.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
While I think some corset piercings are aesthetically pleasing, I can't imagine how easy it must be to get them caught on clothing. Surface piercings are the most vulnerable to rejection by the body, and are most prone to getting accidentally torn out... ouch!
Here is the step-by-step corset piercing process:
And here is what happens when your body rejects the piercings:
Some more successful attempts can be seen below:
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Who has the worst plastic surgery of all?
Is it Jocelyn Wildenstein, the Swiss socialite who squandered her divorce money to look like a cat?
Or is it Donatella Versace, the famed, leathery Italian couture designer?
Could it be Maria Geronazzo, the Hungarian adult film star?
Perhaps you think it is Amanda Lepore, the New Jersey born transsexual nightlife hostess?
Or is it Steve Erhardt, the celebrity beauty consultant from Hollywood?
Last, but certainly not least, could it be Michaela Romanini, the Italian socialite?
Monday, July 6, 2009
- The Bucket List (2007)
- Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009)
- In the Army Now (1994)
- From Justin to Kelly (2003)
- Top Gun (1986)
- Seven Pounds (2008)
- The Hottie and the Nottie (2008)
- Die Hard (1988)
- Ghost (1990)
- Tropic Thunder (2008)
Ick, ick, ick. This list might not make sense to someone else, but I will never watch these movies if I can help it. I am certain that I could die happy without seeing any of these. Am I wrong about any of them? You can try to convince me, but I am stubborn... so good luck.
However, I do love some movies. I would watch these 10 movies over and over, and for sure will stop any time I come across them while channel surfing:
- E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
- Matchstick Men (2003)
- Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)
- Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)
- The Departed (2006)
- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
- Office Space (1999)
- Batman Begins (2005)
- Home Alone (1990)
- Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
What do you think about this list? Do I like any losers? Do I loathe any winners?
Sunday, July 5, 2009
The pillowcases are available at Urban Outfitters.