When you have reached the point where you need to strap a wine glass around your neck, please start rethinking your priorities.
"But I need both hands free for the when the shrimp tray comes back around," you insist. "How am I supposed to simultaneously sample both a crab puff and a zesty empanada if I am required to actually hold my beverage with one of my hands? This is precisely the solution I need to solve my eternal cocktail party dilemma!"
In the real world, you know you would end up using this so you could drink boxed 7-11 wine while sitting on the couch in your Snuggie watching Dancing with the Stars. You wouldn't even have to exert enough energy to lean over to reach a wine glass on the coffee table... it is truly the American Dream.
These ingenious items are available via SkyMall, where products go to die.
For the more fashionable alcoholics, please be sure to check out the haute couture beaded versions by Boberry Designs.