BACON HAIKU 7:
9. Bacon lampshade: Just imagine the warm, sizzly scent that will waft your way if you use a 100 watt bulb. Mmm, like a Glade Plug In, but bacony and it provides a light source.
8. Brown sugar bacon: Only one of the finest combinations ever imagined. Here is my recipe:
6. Bacon tuxedos: Could a girl turn down a date request from a sassy lad in a bacon tux? Oh heck no...
5. Bacon lube: For porkier porking.
4. Bacon tattoo: This ranks in the top 10 most awesome tattoos ever. If only it was scratch and sniff.
3. Bacon salt: This bad boy makes life worth living as a vegetarian. Kosher and vegetarian, this bacon salt tastes like the real thing! I like it on cheesy eggs, popcorn, and especially in mashed potatoes... mmm... (A special thank you to my bacon salt dealer in Seattle for sending me my very own supply.)
2. Bacon maple bar: Sweet, salty, mapley, bacony, donuty... it's like Jesus, Santa, and the Jonas Brothers all came together to jointly bestow their glory upon the world in the form of this bacon maple bar.
1. Bacon vodka: WHO INVENTED THIS? ARE YOU MARRIED? DO YOU WANT TO BE? This fabulous product combines two of my most favorite things - BACON and VODKA! Genius. After a long day of drudgery at the office, I recommend coming home, tossing down your bacon briefcase, loosening your bacon tie, and imbibing a frosty cold bacontini. Rim the glass with bacon salt for a little glass of porky heaven.
*If for some reason you like my bacon poetry or posts, please refer back to my blog.